Sunday, November 21, 2004

I Remember Kathleen... (Post Your Memories)

I am going to archive these comments for the boys and me for the future. Some ideas for your comment posts:

1) How did you first meet Kathleen?
2) What was your most memorable Kathleen experience?
3) What funny event did you share with Kathleen?

Thanks for taking the time to post your special memories of Kathleen. Just click the Comments link below. You do you do not have to register to post a comment. Please leave your name in the body of your comments if you'd like us to know who you are. - Rodger

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Friday 11/19 - Lifetime Achievement



Today, The East West Gateway Council of Governments (http://www.ewgateway.org) held their annual business meeting and awards luncheon. It was held downtown St. Louis with about 500 attendees, including many notable county and city officials (county executives, mayors, councilmen, and staff)

I accepted an award to Kathleen for Lifetime Achievement. Many of Kathleen's friends and professional colleagues were also in attendance.

Gateway Lifetime Achievement Award
Outstanding Local Government Achievement Awards
East West Gateway Council of Governments

Kathleen M. Mansfield (posthumously)

Nominated by: Mark Perkins, City Administrator, Creve Coeur
Michael McDowell, City Manager Olivette


The late Kathleen M. Mansfield, Assistant City Administrator for the City of Creve Coeur, Missouri, is nominated for the Gateway Lifetime Achievement Award for 2004. While it is recognized that a posthumous nomination for this recognition is unusual, the nominators suggest that the life of Kathleen Mansfield serves as a shining beacon of unselfish and professional public service to the entire St. Louis Region and an enviable example for all who strive to serve the public with honor.


Kathleen was born and raised in
Berkeley, Missouri and her family has deep roots in the St. Louis area. She received a Bachelors degree from Southeast Missouri State University and a Master of Public Policy degree from Mississippi State University. She began her professional local government career with the City of Berkeley and was appointed as Assistant to the City Administrator for the City of Creve Coeur in 1987, serving three City Administrators over 16 years.


Her duties with the City during her tenure were many and varied, including human resources administrator, budget officer, management oversight over operating departments, liaison to several City boards and commissions, advising the City’s elected officials on critical issues, and working with employees and citizens. At all times, her service to the City and its citizens set the standard for professionalism and committed public service. A former Mayor of Creve Coeur said, “
She was the most dedicated city employee that any city could hope to have. She had a personal relationship with every staff member, and they returned that attention with loyalty and kindness. Her one goal was to do what was right and what was best for the city of Creve Coeur. She was the most ethical person one could hope to have working for any organization. She was the consummate professional. Everybody who knew her will miss her terribly."


Included among Kathleen’s many accomplishments with Creve Coeur are:

  • Development and regular updating of a comprehensive personnel policy for the City
  • Primary responsibility for annual budget development that consistently received GFOA recognition for Outstanding Budget Presentation
  • Development and management of an exemplery Performance Management Program for employee compensation and performance oversight
  • Receipt of the 1995 Police Chief’s Award for crime prevention contributions to the community
  • Primary liaison to the Creve Coeur Ethics Commission
  • Developed and updated Creve Coeur’s first web page in partnership with her husband
  • Chaired and implemented the City’s Information Technology Task Force
  • Assisted the Tappmeyer Homestead Foundation in its efforts to preserve the historic Tappmeyer Homestead that was threatened by development
  • Developed and implemented numerous administrative policies and procedures to improve the efficiency and effectiveness of the City’s service delivery systems
  • Served as Interim City Administrator and interim department head during transition periods
  • Wrote and edited the Creve Coeur citizen newsletter
  • Served as a mentor and counselor to numerous City employees serving the City


This short listing of accomplishments only partially illustrates that respect and esteem that her fellow employees, elected officials, and citizens felt for Kathleen during the sixteen years that she served Creve Coeur. During that time, she set a high standard that will stand as an example for years to come.


In addition to her professional service in Creve Coeur, Kathleen Mansfield was also widely recognized and honored in the St. Louis Region and throughout Missouri for her public service contributions. The many honors and recognitions that came her way were a result of her active service to the public service community and her strong and unswerving commitment to excellence in all that she did. The most hated words in her vocabulary were “that’s good enough for government work” and she displayed her commitment by constantly encouraging her colleagues to better their skills and renew their commitments to public service.


Some of those regional honors and recognitions included:

  • Serving as President of the St. Louis Area City Management Association
  • Recognition as Missouri’s “Outstanding Local Government Assistant” in 1997 by the Missouri City Management Association
  • Lifetime Achievement Award from the Missouri City Management Association in 2004
  • Leadership in the Local Government CECH-UP Program at UM-St. Louis designed to expose middle school students to the local government environment
  • President of the St. Louis Chapter of the International Personnel Management Association in 1995-96
  • Served on the national Assistants Steering Committee of the International City/County Management Association
  • Active in the CORO Foundation Midwestern Center for Women in Leadership
  • Served on the Board of Directors of the Missouri City Management Association


More important than these specific accomplishments, however, was Kathleen’s positive influence on everyone she came in contact with.
Kathleen loved being in local city government and most importantly loved sharing the profession with schoolkids and graduate students who wanted to follow her into her noble (but often misunderstood) profession. She was usually the first to invite new professionals into the "old boys club" and to welcome them into their professional associations. She also knew that through outreach and diversity, her chosen profession would be stronger than ever.


Kathleen was recognized as the primary mentor and support structure for numerous young local government professionals beginning their careers in the region. Over the past few months, many of these professionals have given testimony to her positive encouragement and career support as they have moved through their careers. Through hard work, personal sacrifice, and her ever-present love of people, she earned the universal respect and admiration of her professional colleagues in the region, across the State of Missouri, and nationally. These personal contacts and close relationships have directly impacted the quality of local government in our region and the commitment of local government professionals and elected officials to serve the public with integrity, honor, and excellence.


Kathleen Mansfield passed away on July 8, 2004 after a courageous four-year battle with scleroderma, a rare, chronic autoimmune (arthritis) disease that primarily affects females who are 30 to 50 years old. Kathleen was 44 at the time of her death. She leaves a loving husband, Rodger, and two sons, Jonathan and Alex.


Rodger Mansfield is currently establishing the Kathleen M. Mansfield Foundation to continue the legacy and commitment of Kathleen to excellence in local government. The Foundation will sponsor programs to educate young people about government and citizenship responsbilities, to encourage students and young professionals in the pursuit of local government careers, and to increase the knowledge among the general public about the value of quality local government in their lives. The Foundation is expected to begin operations in 2005.


This posthumous award is offered on behalf of the numerous people in the St. Louis Region whose lives were touched and made better by their friendship with and love for this remarkable woman. In her too-short 44 years, she had a disproportionate influence, in both local government and in life, in making our region a better place to live. We will always remember her example of excellence, commitment, courage, integrity, laughter, love of family, and uncompromising faith. Most of all, we will remember the many lessons that she taught by her life:


Kathleen taught us all how to laugh and how to love; how to win and how to lose.
She taught us how to live; and finally, she taught us how to die.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Thursday 7/15 - What We Learned

Kathy never asked “why” this terrible disease happened to her. Nor was she ever bitter about it. Rather, she asked what she could learn. She learned how to make the most of every day.

She and I also learned that we live in a mortal, frail and imperfect world which isn't "fair". But knowing that helped us to move forward during the past four years. We loved each other and made the most of everything we did together. We had few regrets.

But I’ve also learned many things over the past four years from Kathleen. How to be kinder, gentler, a better father and husband, more faithful and a better human being. Also, that a complete wardrobe of shorts and T-shirts doesn't really work in St. Louis in the winter.

But most importantly, it is to make each day as if it is your last and to think carefully about your words and deeds.

As the boys and I work through our grief, we will have good days, bad days and really ugly days. Just as before. But I am truly proud to have met and known Kathleen, her family and her many friends around the country.

As we think about how this happened, I encourage you to talk about life and death issues with your spouse, your family and your doctors. If you have specific wishes about your life, you need to have these legally documented, known to those who can help you and ensure that those around you can be strong enough to see it through. Trust me, this is not easy.

Please be sure to take care of your family, friends and neighbors. They will be your legacy.

There are great plans ahead for all of us.

God Bless.

Rodger

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Monday 7/12 - A Day of Remembrance

Kathleen's service was held today at Sacred Heart church in Valley Park. It was a beautiful event. My boys kept me strong and helped me to keep a "happy face". That was very hard to do.

I'd like to thank all of those who took time out from their busy schedule to attend. It gave me strength when I could feel the support of all you there with us in our time of sorrow.

Following the service we held a luncheon which included numerous photographs and a video slide show. I'll have copies of the slide show for anyone who missed it.

I'd like to thank all of you who sent flowers, cards, gifts and support. It will take me some time to sort through all of these over the coming weeks. But they were all beautiful. We were able to regift some of the flowers to others less fortunate today. It's something Kathy would have done. Thank you.

Finally, I'll turn my angergriefsorrowpain into enthusiasmenergydetermination towards starting Kathleen's foundation. I promise you that in years to come, we'll be able to measure the positive difference this effort will produce. There are a thousand million details to work out (name, tax ID, mission/vision/goals, board, money) and I already feel the strength from the show of support I have received.

I'll make updates here to the site from time to time. Again, thanks for everything. - Rodger

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Sunday 7/11 - STL Post Dispatch Story

[From the St. Louis Post-Dispatch 7/11/04]

Kathleen Marie Mansfield
Was Creve Coeur official

Kathleen Marie Mansfield, an administrator for Creve Coeur for 16 years, died Thursday (July 8, 2004) from complications of scleroderma, a rare arthritic disease, at St. John's Mercy Medical Center in Creve Coeur. She was 44 and lived in Ballwin.

Mrs. Mansfield was born and reared in Berkeley. She graduated from Southeast Missouri State University in 1981. She received a master's degree in public policy from Mississippi State University in 1984.

She married Rodger J. Mansfield in 1991.

From 1987 to 2003, Mrs. Mansfield was Creve Coeur's assistant city administrator. Her primary responsibilities included hiring and managing city personnel and serving as liaison to the city's ethics commission, said Annette Kolis Mandel, who was a council member and mayor of Creve Coeur from the mid-1990s to 2003.

Mrs. Mansfield worked tirelessly to save the Tappmeyer Homestead, a historical landmark in Creve Coeur, Mandel said.

"She was the most dedicated city employee that any city could hope to have," the former mayor said. "She had a personal relationship with every staff member, and they returned that attention with loyalty and kindness. Her one goal was to do what was right and what was best for the city of Creve Coeur.

"She was the most ethical person one could hope to have working for any organization. She was the consummate professional. Everybody who knew her will miss her terribly."

Mrs. Mansfield participated in several civic organizations and received the 1997 Assistant City Administrator of the Year Award from the Missouri City Management Association. In the mid-1990s, she served a one-year term as president of the St. Louis City Management Association. She also volunteered with the Boy Scouts of America.

A memorial Mass will be celebrated at 10 a.m. Monday at Sacred Heart Catholic Church, 17 Ann Avenue, Valley Park. A reception will follow.

In addition to her husband, among the survivors are two sons, Jonathan M. Mansfield and Alexander J. Mansfield of Ballwin; a sister, Barbara A. Wilhite of Warson Woods; two brothers, Frank Wilhite and Don A. Wilhite, both of Fenton.

Her husband said a foundation will soon be established to promote education about public service and community involvement.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Saturday 7/10 - Funeral Notice

It's early Saturday morning. I've found this blog to be a therapeutic tool for me to work through my grief. I've heard from a lot of you as well that you have appreciated this site, good and bad, to allow you to know what's been going on.

For those of you who have been through this, you know there are a lot of details. Although Kathy and I knew her disease was fatal, we had refused to let it get in the way of our day-to-day lives. Life went on.

But it also meant that we did not wrap things up as tidy as we could have. I'm just as glad anyway since this was a burden Kathy never had to carry. I've had a lot of help these past few days. Running errands, getting food, and starting to solve the thousand million details.

We have the service planned for Monday followed by a luncheon. I'm working on a slide show and we'll have a photo board too. Later we'll head on over to my house for the afternoon and evening.

I wrote the funeral notice that will run in the Sunday July 11 St. Louis Post-Dispatch. They are also planning to run a news Obituary.

MANSFIELD, KATHLEEN MARIE, of Ballwin, MO died July 8, 2004 after a long and courageous battle with scleroderma; best friend and spouse of Rodger; mother of Jonathan and Alexander; daughter of the late Frank and Ann Wilhite; sister of Barbara, Frank and Don Wilhite; sister-in-law of Nancee Wilhite; dear aunt, cousin and friend to many.

Kathleen was an outstanding professional city administrator of Creve Coeur Missouri who was loved and respected by all of her professional colleagues; former President of the St. Louis Area City Management Association; former board member of the Missouri City Management Association; enthusiastic Scouter with Boy Scouts of America.

Memorial Mass Monday July 12, 10 a.m. at Sacred Heart Catholic Church, 17 Ann Ave., Valley Park, MO 63088 In Kathleen’s honor, a foundation will be established to promote education for the value of public service, youth participation and community involvement.


I'm also starting to work on Kathleen's foundation on public service. I need some technical help in the coming weeks. But I can assure you, this will be a lasting memory that wil best exemplify Kathleen's commitment to others.

Please be sure to post some memories in the "I remember Kathleen" entry. Don't forget to add your name if you'd like to have us know who you are. Thanks!

Thursday, July 08, 2004

What's Happened?



I have lost my life companion and my best friend. The boys have lost a terrific mom. And you all have lost a wonderful friend too.

Thursday July 8, 2004 was the hardest day of my life. But I'd like to share that Kathleen was ready to go. And she went peacefully and quickly, with me holding her tightly and her closest family with her too at the time she needed us the most. We listened to beautiful music and to a wonderful blessing as we said goodbye.

The boys also had a chance to see her again and to say goodbye earlier in the day. This was a tough decision for me to make but I think it was the best way for them to have closure. They are sad and trying to make sense of this all. But they know we are there for them. Always.

We will be planning a life celebration party for Kathleen's family and friends in August. She always told me she'd want a memorable event, full of fun, laughter and life. Her family always has a reunion every few years and this one will be extra special. Please call/email me for details in a week or so.

During this time, I've come to know Kathy's great circle of friends and to know her family just a bit better too. She is 1 of 30+ first-cousins and with 20 years in her profession there is a lot to know. It's always hard for an outsider to join a family. And it is so true that when you marry you get more than just the person--you get the whole family and set of friends. Whether you want them or not. In her case, this is a great thing. Her many friends and family have rallied to our aid. Wish the circumstances were not so, but it is nice to have this support.

As many of you know, she fought systemic sclerosis (scleroderma) for the past four years. Click HERE for more information on this disease.

Kathy was in the hospital since May 11 due to complications from her drug therapy. She was able to walk in and for most of the time was doing well. She was receiving many visitors and calls. But hospitals are really no place for a sick person. And she just ran out of time.

On Monday June 14, she was moved to ICU due to an acute infection and severe respiratory distress. She was heavily medicated to allow her to be evaluated to determine her treatment options. There were some hopeful signs that she could make it. But it finally became clear that time was not on her side.

If you'd like to send cards, please send them to our home. If you need to talk to me, call my cell phone or leave a message at home. You can also email me at rjmans@swbell.net (my email has a spam blocker so you may have to respond to its challenge) I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Sorry I can't post the other contact info to the blog site...

Thank you for your thoughts, your assistance and your prayers during this time.

Rodger and family

7/8 she going byebye

Hi. this is kathy's son jon. i have to tell you that kathy is not going to be with us much longer. she is dying and will leave this world soon. this is sad for all and i hope you are ok without her. jon

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Wednesday 7/7 - Thoughts and Prayers Needed

ICU Day #24 / Hospital Day #57

Kathy remains on high-level of support today. Things are not improving. With so many things wrong, her chances of recovery are slipping away. I told her she's a fighter and to hang in there for every minute she can. She and I had 4 years to discuss this point and we know her wishes. But it is still hard to face the facts.

They are planning some diagnostics Thursday to see if there is anything else they can do. But things are not good. She needs to rally again.

Your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Tuesday 7/6 - Hanging In There

ICU Day #23 / Hospital Day #56

Kathy is still hanging in there. They've dropped her oxygen level down a bit from Sunday. But they continue to provide her with a high-level of ventilator support and close medical attention. The infectious disease doctor was in today---they have changed her antibiotics to fight whatever new beastie attacked her, probably pneumonia.

I spent several hours with her today. We read the paper. I tried not to scare too much about politics today with Kerry's VP pick. :-) So we watched the Food Network, a couple episodes of Golden Girls, and her favorite, The View. Let's just say my visits are a labor of love to endure all that too.

These are rough times for Kathy. She has a lot to overcome. But I tell her everyday how hard she is fighting and how much we want her back.

Thanks for all of your cards, emails and show of support for Kathy, me and the boys. We appreciate it.

Monday, July 05, 2004

Monday 7/5 - Chutes and Ladders

ICU Day #22 / Hospital Day #55

Kathy is resting after a busy day yesterday. Spoke with the ICU doctor this afternoon for another update. Her breathing is her top priority. Then the infections, then the kidneys and then the ol' bladder. She's gone back 7-10 days in progress. But not as far back as when she first came into the ICU. Since they caught this setback early, Kathy has a fighting chance. But she is still on a high-level of support.

The goal is to get this infection under control and to start to wean her from the vent again. If things go well, then 7-10 days from now, she'll be where she was last Friday. She'll again have to come back down from the neuromuscular blockade and the sedation drugs that are assisting her to stay on the vent at such high settings.

This will probably require a trachesotomy. But it will allow her to breath and to talk to us again. They also are going to start her back on the continuous dialysis as well. Once she's stable, they'll do some more diagnostics to see how to stop the bladder bleeding. But that is a couple weeks off.

The ARDS website has some more information, including a section on understanding ARDS, frequently asked questions and a glossary of terms. Be sure to check it out by clicking HERE.

The best way to describe what's going is to remember the childhood board game of Chutes and Ladders. Kathy is working her way up, sometimes taking a ladder and bypassing everyone's expectations. Other days, she's sliding back down a chute. She never really liked playing that game with the boys anyway. For an interesting history of the game "Chutes and Ladders", click HERE.


Sunday, July 04, 2004

Sunday 7/4 - No Holiday for Kathy

ICU Day #21 / Hospital Day #54

As you can see from the previous posts, Kathy had been steadily improving over the past two weeks. But she took a downturn this morning. Must have a new infection which sent her blood pressure out of control. So she's back on full support again and again on the neural muscular blockade. So our time to communicate was too brief. They are working very hard for her.

Saturday, July 03, 2004

Saturday 7/3 - Time

ICU Day #20 / Hospital Day #53

I spent an hour or so with Kathy this morning. She's able to move her head a bit to nod and can open her eyes a bit wider today. But she appears very tired. They are starting to switch to dialysis every few days and see how that is progressing. There's a good chance that this can be solved.

Kathy and I have always been great Star Trek fans. Our first date ended with us racing back to watch the show (together of course!). We both enjoyed this quote from Star Trek: Generations movie that seems even more fitting at this point in time:

Picard: Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived. After all Number One, we're only mortal.

Riker: Speak for yourself sir, I plan to live forever.


Have a great 4th weekend and be sure to enjoy the time with your families. If anything is learned from the past two months, it is that time is fleeting. So don't miss the opportunities to enjoy life and those you have with you.

Here's a link from the Missouri Bar concerning medical directives and living wills which you may find interesting. Click HERE. This is worth reading and having in place BEFORE you need medical care.

Friday, July 02, 2004

Friday 7/2 - Blinking is Good

ICU Day #19 / Hospital Day #52

Kathy had a peaceful day. She seemed more tired than yesterday but she was able to move her eyes when I was there today. Her sister Barb also spent time with her (as she has for the past 3 weeks. Her cousin Carolyn, friends Carol and Cheri came by to welcome her back as well.

Kathy has a long way to go but it is very good to see this progress. The key focus is to wean her from the ventilator over the coming weeks. This will also improve as the infections subside and her kidneys have a chance to restart. Hopefully, nothing new will pop up.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Thursday 7/1 - The Awakening

ICU Day #18 / Hospital Day #51

Today is best called "The Awakening". After 19 days, I was able to communicate with Kathy and she could respond. As many of you know, Kathy is a talker. But today she could only move her eyes for "yes" or "no". It took some time, but I was able to tell her what happened over the past three weeks. I also told her how much you all have been supporting her and us. We even went over all of the cards she has received since being in ICU. She could confirm that she knew what I was telling her.

I spoke with the ICU doctor at great length today. Kathy will have many challenges ahead. She'll also probably be on a roller coster with ups and downs. But today she has an "E" ticket.

This has been a great day.


I think I can sleep tonight.

Rodger

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Wednesday 6/30 - Cincuenta Días

ICU Day #17 / Hospital Day #50

Unbelievably, this is the 50th day in the hospital for Kathleen. Hope that we're not looking at 50 more.

As Kathy continues to make progress, some days are just work days. Her blood work showed that she still has a blood infection. So to prevent further problems, they needed to move the lines she has in place in her arms, neck and chest. This takes time and certainly a toll on her. But they were moved by late afternoon. Some new bleeding but they can continue to give her medicine and her dialysis. Hopefully, they'll be able to beat this lingering infection.

Still haven't heard from the docs. I'll need to be more of a pest on Thursday to get them to talk to me. :-8 I suspect that there are major problems in her belly that will continue to cause her problems. They haven't solved it in 50 days so I guess they can try some more.

But with all that said, she is certainly looking a lot more peaceful. Some color has returned, her swelling has gone down, she's breathing more normally (at least for her) and there are more signs that she can start to move. But it still going to be some time before she can rejoin us.

I continue to read Kathy all of the cards you have been sending. I also read her the many emails. She's heard from college and high school friends, her church groups, her friends in city management and her extended family across the country.

Started to solve a related problem today. Got caught in St. Charles Rock Road traffic at lunch which was no fun. I hope she thinks this is worth it. When she became sick she broke her glasses. Of course, she's been using her same eye doc for 30 years so I had to track down his number and office location so they could be repaired.
Nothing that time and money won't fix. But she'll want to read your cards herself.

I'll be back at the hospital on Thursday. Will give an update as soon as I can.

Tuesday 6/29 - Making Progress

ICU Day #16 / Hospital Day #49

Today Kathleen made more progress. She is still on the vent but is now setting the pace. The machine is assisting her. So this is good news.

She was able to handle the CAT scan procedure and the move around the hospital, so that is also good news.

However, she still has the internal hemorrhaging issue to resolve and is still on dialysis. These remain big obstacles.

It gets very frustrating that the doctors don't share the information on a timely basis with me. I'll have to be more vocal Wednesday to get them to contact me.

Monday, June 28, 2004

Monday 6/28 - CAT Day

ICU Day #15 / Hospital Day #48

Another day and some more progress. These are very small improvements but they are good signs and are heading in the right direction. She appears to be tolerating her new ventilator and the lower settings. This will help over the coming weeks. But it is a slow and methodical process to wean someone from such high support. This vent focuses on the volume, not the amount of pressure in her lungs. She still has more to go before they can remove the vent. At best, a bit after July 4th. Learn more about ARDS HERE.

Kathy is scheduled for a CAT scan (computed tomography scan) later this afternoon. This will be the first test to see if she is stable enough to be moved around the hospital. They want to check on her mid-section for other problems now that her infections, breathing and blood pressure issues are stable. Hopefully, there will be good signs about her kidneys and her previous internal hemorrhaging.

Learn more about the history of X-Rays and CAT scans HERE.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

Sunday 6/27 - Card Day

ICU Day #14 / Hospital Day #47

Kathy is resting this morning. She is still heavily medicated. But there are signs that she is starting to stir. Last night I brought her a CD player and her CDs. The nurses offered to play them for her.

I spent the morning opening and reading her many get-well cards that have arrived at home this past week. I've taped them to her room wall so she'll see them and her nurses and docs will also know about how you are thinking of her and the boys.

Now that Kathy's breathing numbers are getting better, they've exchanged her vent for a kinder more gentler system that can assist her. It will help her meet her pressure settings rather than force them. If she continues to progress, she could be off the vent by next weekend. I would hope that they'd reduce her sedation after that time. I'll have to talk to her doctors on Monday to find out their plan for sure.

Learn more about the history of sending greeting cards by clicking HERE.

What are ARDS & Scleroderma?

Here's a link from the Missouri Bar concerning medical directives and living wills which you may find interesting. Click HERE. This is worth reading and having in place BEFORE you need medical care.

Adult (or Acute) Respiratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS) is a medical condition which prevents the normal breathing process from taking place. ARDS occurs when there is severe inflammation in both lungs resulting in an inability of the lungs to function properly. ARDS is a devastating, often fatal, inflammatory lung condition that usually occurs in conjunction with catastrophic medical conditions, such as pneumonia, shock, sepsis (or severe infection throughout the body, sometimes also referred to as systemic infection, and may include or also be called a blood or blood-borne infection), and trauma. It is a form of sudden and often severe lung failure. Lung failure means that the lungs can no longer carry out their normal function of getting oxygen into the blood and removing carbon dioxide from the body.

ARDS Links
  • ARDS Support Center - Frequently Asked Questions

  • ARDS - National Institute of Health



  • Systemic Sclerosis ("scleroderma") is a rare, chronic autoimmune (arthritis) disease that primarily affects females who are 30 to 50 years old at onset. It is a serious illness that can affect any part of the body. It is broken down into categories such as Diffuse, Limited, CREST, and Overlap. Learn more at the sclero website

    This type is often referred to as the "disease that turns people into stone" for the distinctive skin hardening that often occurs eventually. The hardening typically affects the hands, causing the fingers to curl inward.

    There are dozens of symptoms of Systemic Sclerosis, and a huge variance in how people are affected by it. Often the illness develops slowly, with vague initial symptoms such as swelling of the hands, carpal tunnel syndrome, sensitivity to cold, fatigue, heartburn, difficulty swallowing, shortness of breath, and reduced endurance.

    Scleroderma can be quite difficult to diagnose, and many people are misdiagnosed with CFS, lupus, or rheumatoid arthritis in the beginning. Many people with scleroderma may have comparatively mild symptoms for decades, while those with the rare form of rapid-onset Diffuse Scleroderma, may quickly suffer disability, disfigurement, and even death.

    The Cause of Scleroderma remains largely unknown. It is not contagious or cancerous. You can't catch it by kissing, holding hands, sharing eating utensils, or through sexual intercourse. Only about 1-2% of cases are genetic. Sometimes scleroderma is caused by chemical or environmental exposures.

    Unfortunately, there is no proven treatment or cure for any form of scleroderma. However, there are effective treatments for many of the symptoms, many experimental treatments and clinical trials, and plenty of ways to lessen symptoms and adapt to the illness.

    Scleroderma Links
  • I Have Scleroderma - http://www.ihavescleroderma.com

  • International Scleroderma Network - http://www.sclero.org/

  • Scleroderma Foundation - http://www.scleroderma.org/

  • Surviving Scleroderma - http://www.sclerodermasupport.com
  • Saturday, June 26, 2004

    Saturday 6/26 - PEEP day

    ICU Day #13 / Hospital Day #46

    This morning I spent an hour or so with Kathleen. She still has the VRE so we must don our gloves and gown to enter her room. Her vent settings have changed for the better again. She is still at 35% oxygen ratio but her PEEP rate has come down to 10 (it had been in the high 20's). They are working on the PEEP rate today to see how well she can tolerate that change before they make other setting changes. Her frequency is at 26 (down from 40 last week). These are good signs that she will be able to breath again on her own. At best, 7-10 days away from that.

    She is still on dialysis and is losing a lot of her previous swelling. There are still many hurdles to face. But she is heading is the right direction.

    I turn on the Cardinal games for her when I am in the room---usually a replay of the previous days game. I also leave the evening nurses notes on the bulletin board when the game starts and which cable channel it's on so they don't have any reason NOT to turn the TV on for her.

    Will post more when I visit her again tonight.

    Friday, June 25, 2004

    Friday 6/25 - Ameliorate

    ICU Day #12 / Hospital Day #45

    Kathy had another good day. Still heavily medicated and is unable to communicate with us. They've reduced her vent settings again a bit today. She remains on dialysis so that is helping to reduce the swelling. Still has multiple infections which they are fighting. Her blood pressure goes up whenever I'm talking to her so things must be getting back to normal already :-)

    Many of you have asked how the boys are doing during this time. For the most part they are handling this very well. They do know mom is severly ill and that they can not yet see her. I tell them about her condition each day and relay their messages to her. Jon reads this blog so he knows the story too. They have been very busy this summer so that has kept them occupied every day. They've gone swimming, gone to movies, played at the park, shopped, played with friends, been a "keeper for a day" at the zoo, played minigolf, and attended volleyball camp so far. Next week is a church camp so they'll be busy again. Mom would want us to keep going. I've been very fortunate to have many helpers so that I can start back to work and to get the boys to their activities. Thank you!

    Word for the Day - Ameliorate

    Thursday, June 24, 2004

    Thursday 6/24 - Helping Hand

    ICU Day #11 / Hospital Day #44

    Mid Day Report - Kathleen remains on dialysis. It is helping to reduce the excess fluids and the extreme swelling. She still looks very tired and remains heavily sedated. Her oxygen ratio has been moved down to 40% from its 100% last Thursday. She did test positive for the VRE so she will start a new antibiotic today. They also plan to replace several of the lines that are drawing blood and pumping in the fluids to prevent infection.

    Yesterday Mark and Nancy from the city dropped off two giant cards from the city managers titled "Helping Hand for Kathleen". They read the many comments from the city managers around town. Kathleen has been a SLACMA member for a number of years and served in a number of leadership roles including president of the association. The cards are now posted on the walls for her to see when she wakes. I also plan to read them again to her tonight.

    Plan to be back later tonight so I will update after that. - Rodger

    Wednesday, June 23, 2004

    Wednesday 6/23 - Gloves and Gowns

    ICU Day #10 / Hospital Day #43

    Kathy has had another peaceful day. Not much progress on the vent settings. A few were set back a bit since it appeared she was not tolerating the lower/slower pace. But considering how much she improved over last week, this does not yet appear to be a concern. She is also tolerating the dialysis well and is getting rid of some of the excess fluids. This is helping to reduce the swelling and she is looking a bit thinner.

    What did change today was a possible lab result of a Vancomycin-resistant Enterococcus infection. They are going to retest. So we now must wear gowns and gloves when visiting Kathy. The docs today didn't think this was going to be a big problem for her since her blood pressure looks good. Not so much for her or our protection, but rather to prevent this possible bug from spreading inside the ICU. Click HERE for some info on VRE.

    I also have some new on a special gift/visit Kathy received today. But it's time for dinner and some fun with the boys. Will update on Thursday.

    Tuesday, June 22, 2004

    Tuesday 6/22 - Day of Rest

    ICU Day #9 / Hospital Day #42

    More of the same today. Rather pretty quiet for her. They had lowered her vent settings a bit today but brought that back up by this evening because it was causing her discomfort. She did start dialysis again and this should help the swelling. She is in acute renal failure which means that there's a chance this can be reversed. She really needs her kidneys to restart. Probably can go 3-4 more weeks before they think she's in chronic renal failure which would mean she'd always need dialysis 3 times a week. They are also still giving antibiotics for her infections.

    Several of you have asked why Kathy is on the ventilator. When she moved to the ICU, she was having many problems, including what appeared to be ARDS (Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome) most likely called by reaction to an infection. She already had lung issues, so having this complication is not helpful. Click HERE for more information on ARDS. As you'll read, this is a major complication of trauma and severe infections.

    Monday, June 21, 2004

    Monday 6/21 - Don't Quit

    ICU Day #8 / Hospital Day #41

    It was a great relief this weekend to have Kathy make some improvements. Success seems measured not in making great leaps forward but to not take giant falls back. She is still so critically ill that it is hard to really get charged up that she's going to pull through this crisis.

    As I speak to Kathy's friends and family, I often talk about how I am telling her what's going on and how she is doing "better". As I try to take a positive outlook, I think I am misleading some of you about the real nature of her condition. Most of you upon seeing her would be terribly disappointed. But I know she is "better" than she was just a few days ago. And that is what I am telling her. She is a strong fighter and can make it through this ordeal.

    This morning when I was checking emails and getting ready to start yet another day of my new routine, I looked up from Kathy's computer desk and saw a poem she had pinned to the message board. She must have known that she'd need it here one day. It seemed very appropriate so I took it along to read to her:

    Don't Quit
    ----------

    When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
    When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
    When the funds are low, and the debts are high;
    And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.

    When care is pressing you down a bit --
    Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

    Success is failure turned inside out;
    The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
    And you never can tell how close you are;
    It may be near when it seems so afar.

    So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit --
    It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit.

    So with all that said, today was another better day. Her blood pressure was better. And they have reduced the frequency and oxygen mix ratios. This means she is not being forced to breath as fast, as deep and with as much oxygen on the ventilator as she was before. She has also been removed from the neuralmuscular blockade; although she is now more sedated with other medicines. She'll start dialysis again to help with the swelling. We hope that her kidneys restart soon. If every day there can be progress like this, then there truly appears to be hope.

    I was there this morning when the physical therapist came in to work with her. Because Kathy has been in bed for so long and has become swollen with excess fluids, it is very important that her joints are massaged to prevent them from locking. In one hopeful sign, it Kathy appeared to squeeze my hand when her leg was being bent. She was probably in great pain so I was glad to be there holding her. A bit later with the other leg, I could see that her eye brows were also scrunched.

    She's not quiting and neither are we.

    Sunday, June 20, 2004

    Sunday 6/20 - Mother's Day

    ICU Day #7 / Hospital Day #40

    Today is Father's Day. But I'd like to think it's still Mother's Day. Kathy was resting well this morning. they lowered the frequency of her ventilator and her oxygen level was reduced slightly again. These are good signs. But the crisis remains that her kidneys have not restarted.

    Interesting what a small world we really live in. One of Kathy's strongest supporter at the hospital is on the pastoral staff there. Kathy had met her many times during her first month in the hospital but I had never met her since our schedules never crossed.

    But how did Kathy meet her? She is also a parishioner at a local church where I know the pastor and his wife. The pastor pointed her in Kathy's direction several weeks ago since he knew they'd get along quite well.

    And how do I know the pastor and his family? He and I went to college together over 20 years ago in Southern California where we had both grown up. We also studied together in England and traveled through Europe together. By chance he was posted to a church here in town and now lives in the subdivision next to us. Our children go to school together and we see them many times throughout the year. They have been very helpful to us especially this past week.

    When Kathy crashed into the ICU last Monday, it was a very confusing time. As I was standing outside the ICU unit where 6 doctors and nurses were frantically working to stabilize Kathy, I turned around and saw someone also watching. It was her new friend who had just happened to be walking through the ICU at that moment.

    We needed someone to help us understand where she was, the hows and whys of the ICU and help us sort out the emotions of the new level of medical care. We also needed the practical help of clearing Kathy's personal belongings from her prior hospital room. She was the right person at the right time. Exactly who we needed at exactly the right time. Thank you Dottie!

    What is the chance of that?

    Saturday, June 19, 2004

    Saturday 6/19 - The Win Column

    ICU Day #6 / Hospital Day #39

    Today has been another "better" day for Kathleen. Improvements are slight: she is still severely ill. But every step forward, no matter how small, means getting closer to her goal of returning home to us. She is still heavily medicated and requires extensive usage of the ventilator. But there are some small signs of improvement. We'll take that for the day. I spent a lot of time with her today making sure she knew we were there for her and letting her catch up on the latest news. I hope that she is able to hear and understand all of this. Mark today in the "win" column.

    You just never know where or when someone can give you that extra lift during the day. Yesterday while getting the boys their haircuts (it's been such a long 5 weeks that I had neglected this), we met a new (to us) beautician. The boys explained that their mother was in the hospital. She shared with them that in 1985, she was the first patient at the same hospital who had the neuralmuscular blockade that Kathy is now using as standard treatment. This women shared that she could remember every time someone came in and touched her and often could recall the goings on around her. The beautician was also a former student of Kathy's brother who is a teacher. The boys were thrilled to hear such good news. So with her cousin Carolyn's help, I went back to the hospital to tell Kathy that she had rallied for the day, that there were so many people pulling for her and that we all really wanted her back.

    Friday, June 18, 2004

    Friday 6/18 - 9th Inning Rally

    Sometimes small things can make all the difference. Thursday was a very, very, bad day for Kathy. The doctors told me last night that she needed a good day today.

    A few hopeful signs: very slight breathing improvement, some small improvements in blood pressure, some signs that her kidneys *may* be restarting (though this is not really known). Let's pray and hope that these are signs for the future. She'll need many more good days like today.

    This email came in to me this morning from one of Kathy's long-time friends and I thought many of you would enjoy reading it. I've changed the names to protect the guilty ;-):

    "I have been praying for Kath nightly for the past four years. I can not begin to tell you that I understand what you and your family are going through right now, but I want you to know how we both feel about Kathy. She is by far the strongest, most faithful person we have ever known. I mean in our lives. The spirit and strength that has radiated from her since the day we met her (20 some odd yrs ago) has always impressed us. Along with the Polish stubbornness that she could not control, only makes us love her more. If any one deserves a miracle it's Kathy. I also believe that her faith in the Lord has prepared her for this battle and if this is her time she will be ready to serve. I know this is not easy for you, but for her, I believe, she is ready.

    There is nothing we can say or do to comfort you at this time, but believe that there is a network of people out here that have experienced the life of Kathy and we will all be here when you need us." - C, A, M, T and L C.

    Thursday, June 17, 2004

    Thursday 6/17 - Bad Day We Don't Want to See Again

    Today has proven to be a tough day for Kathleen. She continues to fight numerous battles. Your continued prayers will be greatly appreciated. - Rodger



    AM REPORT

    I spent the morning at Kathy's bedside reading to her several cards we have recently received. Not sure if she can hear us or not since they have her so knocked out. But I'd like to think that she can.

    This morning she's pretty much at the same point she was yesterday. Some signs a bit better, others just OK. They are giving her some more blood products. By my count, she's had over 20 units since she was first admitted last month.

    She had a couple of hours of dialysis last night which she seemed to tolerate. They are looking to get her another continuous machine but apparently they are all in use and the extra one is being repaired. Go figure.

    I'll get another update from the ICU staff later this afternoon and will post what I can.

    Wednesday, June 16, 2004

    Wednesday 6/16 - So Many Battles

    A better day, sort of. Kathy is still heavily medicated to assist her breathing and to help her not to know what's happening while she's in ICU.

    The doctors have a better feel today for what's going on and they are working hard to understand each of her issues and to develop a treatment plan.

    - Still in ICU
    - Still on ventilator; Reduced her Oxygen level.
    - New antibiotic to fight possible fungal infection
    - Dialysis has started to attempt to reverse her renal shutdown.

    Tuesday, June 15, 2004

    Tuesday 6/15 - Assessing the Issues

    Kathy remains in ICU. Bad news of the day is that her kidneys have shut down. After a lot of conversations with her new docs in ICU as well as her other doctors who have worked with her for the past 4 years, it appears this renal issue may be temporary. They will start continuous dialysis tonight.

    Monday, June 14, 2004

    Monday 6/14 - Crashing to ICU

    Very bad day. Kathy had been out of it since Sunday and this morning was having difficulty breathing. Moved to the ICU for more intesive doctor and nursing care.